Friday, January 15, 2010


However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. ~Ephesians 5:33

Financial hardship is one of the biggest contributers to divorce in our country. It's essential that the lines of communication stay open during financial difficulties and that both spouses are on the same page. The family budget and financial goals need to be clearly started and adhered to by both husband and wife. In many homes, the husband makes the money while the wife is in charge of spending it. It seems a little lopsided :) It is important that a couple work together so that they can meet not only their immediate needs, but their long term financial goals. We women need to be on the same page as our husbands and make sure that we're spending the money wisely. There are many tips and tricks out there for doing this. More important than just sticking to the budget is having an attitude of love and respect for your husband, in all areas of life.

Men are funny creatures. I highly recommend the book For Women Only by Shaunti Feldham. These are interviews and polls that share what men really think and feel about a variety of issues. Men were designed to be leaders and providers. When they are not bringing in an amount of money to feel like they are adequately providing for their families, they can get down on themselves and even feel shame. It is extremely important for the wife to show love and respect during this time to build her man up, rather than help the process that is tearing him down.

You may think that holding you've been holding your tongue and that's all that can be expected of you. But it's not just about the words we say. It's about the tone we use, and the looks we have, and the attitude we walk through our day with. It took a number of years for me to realize that my internal attitude towards my husbands work situation was coming across to him. I needed to trust that he would take care of our family. I needed to trust that God would lead him. God put us together and I needed to trust that God was still at work in our lives. It certainly wasn't an easy lesson to learn, and I'm sure it will take a lifetime to "master." 

The Lord calls women to grant their husbands respect in all areas, whether or not we think he deserves it. We certainly don't want him saying we haven't earned his love! We must take steps to show him (and ourselves) that we respect him. We must learn about our husbands and determine which things we say and do will convey the most amount of respect to him. If we first put into action what our heads knows is right, then our hearts will follow. 

Here are a few ideas that we like to get you started in acting on your love and respect for your husband. The Love Dare is a popular book from the Fireproof movie that offers one action each day that you can do to show love to your spouse. 

Run to greet him when he comes home from work. 
Race the kids to see who can hug him first.
Thank him for all the energy he puts into providing for the family- both at work and the things he does around the house.
Compliment him in front of others.
Don't argue with him in front of others.
Hold his hand- at dinner, in the car
Ask for his advice and listen to it!
Cook his favorite dinner or dessert
Tuck a note in his lunch bag or coat pocket
Pick up his favorite candy and leave pieces of it where he'll find it

When we love and respect our husbands, the ramifications will truly change our lives. 

In the words of a candy wrapper:
"Think lovingly
Speak lovingly
Act lovingly"

This is just one of the things I have learned through financial circumstances. To read about some of the other things, visit this page. 

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